What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
11.06.2025 00:14
We were not on the streets..
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
How do I build rapport with anybody?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
How do you know when your skirt is too short?
I think the readers, may guess!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Patriots decline to say whether Stefon Diggs has passed key physical in contract - NBC Sports
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
The One Habit an Oncologist Recommends Everyone Add by Age 40 - Eat This Not That
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
My life is so biszare .
What's your wildest & weirdest fantasy?
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Would you join a gym or workout at home and why?
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Scientists Uncover “Alien” Chemistry Under Earth’s Largest Lithium Deposits - SciTechDaily
She wouldn,t have been !
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I could never make a relationship work though!
What are some reasons why men may not want to date a woman who can pay her own bills?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Does anyone wear see-through clothes to show off underwear?
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Do the British people realize how much American people absolutely despise them?
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
As i do to all so called friends.?
She loved him until the end.
What is the difference between the terms "Millennials" and "kids"?
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Can you share something that captivates you, whether it's an idea, a discovery, or an invention?
We all went to grammer schools
And who doesn’t know suffering?
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Stock Market News, June 3, 2025: Nasdaq Moves Higher; OECD Cuts U.S. Growth Outlook - WSJ
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I was 9 years of age.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Ive learnt so much.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I was seconnd youngest,
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Would this be the day?
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
This is how, and why children get BPD.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Im still living with it.
Put me off passion for life!!
My family never makes their pension either.
But it wasn’t much.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Who then, do I blame.?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I never cut or harmed myself..
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
She found it foreign!.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
She married twice! .
When she asked me how she looked .
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He resisted the act ,that day.
I was scared of men, in general
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
She was in good health!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I write beautiful poetry .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I waited trembling.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Was to survive, this bastard.
All the time i was locked up.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I was very sick at this time too.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I couldn’t, believe it.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Especially a lifetime of it.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I will be 64.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I have no regrets .
(And it was in our own minds.)
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I said to her
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I don,t even have a pension.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
One cannot live in the past .
It was going to be , some day.
But, we were locked up after school.
So whats the point in blame.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
He knew the spot.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
What did i know ?
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
This is soul school!.
So, i spoilt her more .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Comes on , in middle age.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
And i lived it daily.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.